The Charge of The Review Brigade

Half the time, Half the time,
Half to code onward,
All in the valley of Project
Coded the six offended,
Forward, the Review Brigade!
Charge for the defects’ they said:
Into the valley of Project
Coded the six offended.

‘Forward, the Review Brigade!’
Was there a coder dismay’d?
Not tho the coder knew
Some one had blunder’d:
They did not to take reply,
They did not ask why,
They did code & cry
Into the valley of Project
Coded the six offended.

Defect from the start of them,
Defect to the left of them,
Defect in front of them
Injected & blundered;
Storm’d away with process and standard,
Badly they coded; well,
Into the jaws of Project,
Into the month of Hell
Coded the six offended.

Flash’d all their standards and process bare,
Flash’d as they trained everywhere,
Standardizing the coders there,
Reviewing the code while,
All the PM’s wonder’d:
Plunged in the testers-stubbed;
Right thro’ the code they drive;
High & Low Defects
Reel’d from the testing joke,
Shatter’d & Sunder’d.
Then they coded back, but not
Not the six offended.

Defect to the right of them,
Defect to the left of them,
Defect behind them
Detected and blunder’d
Coded without standard or process,
While the test & cases fell,
They thought that they had coded so well
Came through the jaws of Project,
Back from the month of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of the six offended,

When can their defects fade?
O the wild code they made!
All the PM’s wonder’d
Hours of defects they made,
Hours more reviewed the brigade
No-able six offended!

If only Robert Frost was a Reviewer

Whose work these are I think I know
His cabin is in the corner, though;
He will not see me peeping here
To watch his code fill up with flaw

My PM must think it queer
To stop the code without a delivery near
Between the coding and review phase
The darkest moment of the developer’s year

He gives his fists a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound is the constant beep
Of the endless loop in his coding streak

The code is lowly, defunct and steep
But I have defect free deliveries to keep,
And KLOCs to go before I sleep,
And KLOCs to go before I sleep